You know those "what I want to be when I grow up" kind of essays that you have to write when you go to school? It seems they never go out of fashion. Starting from when I was 5 year old (doctor/vet/astronaut) to my college application (aid worker with enough idealism to Make a Difference) and potential MBA or MPA applications (corporate warrior turned micro-financing manager); all these essays revolve around the same theme of trying to steer a course to achieve your personal career goals.
This kind of essay used to be a piece of cake. I usually knew what I wanted to do with my life and I could convey enough enthusiasm and sincerity to at least appear convincing (if not completely personally convinced).
But I can't fake all that now. I am truly at a loose end when it comes to what I want to do with my career right now.
It has been a long break from legal practice for me. My peers in Singapore are either already law firm partners or at least on the way there. I guess it gives me a good idea of what I am giving up by staying at home for now. And how much slippage there has been career wise.
But I don't think I could go back to spending all night poring over 30,000 documents in a war room - that what you call that large conference room filled with boxes of documents and littered with bandaids (for your paper cuts).
I need to truly ponder my next move. I am sure I want to work. The problem is finding a job which will afford a modicum of intellectual satisfaction weighed against the family life which I wish to have. Given that Fabien is going to be working like a lawyer sorry i mean dog, and travelling all over China for the next year or so, I shouldn't really leave our wookie at home to her own devices too much.
But how much really is too much? Nobody said having a kid was going to be easy!