Fabien comes back home tonight! I am actually quite excited about it. I sometimes think that with him being away for so long, it gives us both a chance to miss each other. And yet carry on with our own lives.
Missing somebody doesn't really mean that you stay at home and mope. I think there is an element of that, but an incredibly private one. My guilty pleasure is reading Joan Didion "The Year of Magical Thinking".
For the most part, we live life without each other, and I think for us, that is a groovy kind of love. Because you are not dependant on somebody, you know you both don't NEED each other, but you have freely chosen to be together. For me that's an important element to say you are in love.
I'll leave you with a phone exerpt from one of our more private conversations:
"how can you be sure of anything for the rest of your life?"
"I am sure of what I promised, and I promised to love you for the rest of my life. Even on some days when I want to kill you."
"that is so sweeet"