This post is of a reasonably personal nature, but I'd like to record and share it anyway.
A couple of days ago, Fabien and I had this major episode over something as trivial as gelato.
There is my favourite gelato shop - Grom, near the train station. Fabien takes the train back home from work, so when we couldn't get a fix this weekend (bloody winter olympic tourists!) he said he would get some when he came back from work. So when he came home sans gelato , I was so disappointed I started to cry.
Maybe it was because I had just recovered from flu, or maybe it was pregnancy hormones or something. I don't cry very often, so it surprised me that I was shedding tears for this.
Anyway, he was understandably distressed and decided that the best way to make up for it is to produce the gelato immediately. So ran out to get some. I know you are going to think the poor dear is being bullied by me now... But really I didn't expect and didn't need/want him to do that at all.
Essentially, the point is this:-
if someone I care about says they are going to do something (no matter how trivial) I _expect_ them to. If they subsequently don't do it , I become quite angry and disappointed. It had nothing to do with any gelato cravings, in fact it doesn't actually matter WHAT the thing is, but if you create an expectation that something is going to happen and don't deliver, then I get upset proportionate to how seriously I take the things which you normally say to me.
I admit though, that throwing a fit over a gelato seems quite extreme even when you know this background about how seriously I take this pacta sunt servanda idea...
Anyways alls well that ends well. So we've kissed and made up and all that.
But the cautionary tale for everyone out there is simply this guys-
DON'T promise your girlfriend or wife something unless you are sure you are absolutely going to do it - even if it sounds or looks really trivial!