Wednesday, March 01, 2006

All for a Gelato

This post is of a reasonably personal nature, but I'd like to record and share it anyway.

A couple of days ago, Fabien and I had this major episode over something as trivial as gelato.

There is my favourite gelato shop - Grom, near the train station. Fabien takes the train back home from work, so when we couldn't get a fix this weekend (bloody winter olympic tourists!) he said he would get some when he came back from work. So when he came home sans gelato , I was so disappointed I started to cry.

Maybe it was because I had just recovered from flu, or maybe it was pregnancy hormones or something. I don't cry very often, so it surprised me that I was shedding tears for this.

Anyway, he was understandably distressed and decided that the best way to make up for it is to produce the gelato immediately. So ran out to get some. I know you are going to think the poor dear is being bullied by me now... But really I didn't expect and didn't need/want him to do that at all.

Essentially, the point is this:-

if someone I care about says they are going to do something (no matter how trivial) I _expect_ them to. If they subsequently don't do it , I become quite angry and disappointed. It had nothing to do with any gelato cravings, in fact it doesn't actually matter WHAT the thing is, but if you create an expectation that something is going to happen and don't deliver, then I get upset proportionate to how seriously I take the things which you normally say to me.

I admit though, that throwing a fit over a gelato seems quite extreme even when you know this background about how seriously I take this pacta sunt servanda idea...

Anyways alls well that ends well. So we've kissed and made up and all that.

But the cautionary tale for everyone out there is simply this guys-

DON'T promise your girlfriend or wife something unless you are sure you are absolutely going to do it - even if it sounds or looks really trivial!


rhys said...

half a kilo?! Wowee!

and gelato is definitely not trivial stuff in MY book. =)

mini said...

that must be some darn good gelato! lol :)

i do get into these strange moods too where i cry buckets over little things... i have no idea why!

Michael Low said...

Important lesson I learnt from my wife; if you say you are going to do something, either:
a)do it; or
b)have a very good reason for not being able to do it (I forgot DOES NOT cut it); or
c)be prepared for the consequences of being told that what has been requested (or worse, the person requesting it) is obviously not important enough to warrant being paid attention to.

In other words, guys, fail to carry out what you've promised to do at your own peril....

clara said...

I'm with you on this one Shaz. I get mad as hell when they promise to do something, then don't and then get upset cos you got upset with them over 'nothing' or 'something trivial'.

Anyway, glad you sorted it out. Nothing beats communication and the understanding that sometimes things *do* slip our minds.