Friday, February 24, 2006

snorts and sniffles

I am having a cold, so Pins has gone to Milan by herself today, and will come back later for dinner tonight.

I am just having a sore throat, sneeze and sniffles etc, so no antenatal swim class for me this week.

I am not sure how come I got sick... Could it be just because I am more tired easily than I used to be? Could it be because I lack sleep/vitamins? Could it be because I didn't put enough warm clothes on? (I'm not always sensible in making the difficult choice between looking like a hot mama in skirts and boots but freezing, and warmly clothed but looking like michelin tire man) Could it (hahahah) actually be the over-consumption of chocolate and chocolate-related products?

Anyways, whatever it is, I am (rather belatedly) wrapped up in blankies on the couch with laptop and surfing through gems such as this..

Diary of a pregnant Dad

I guess I find this all very amusing because our own parents had an interesting blend of the traditional roles and interactive/attachment parenting, so Fabs and me did have fairly long discussions about it all before we got married. If you are thinking of marrying someone, I can recommend such discussions (generally when you are on holiday) because it will prevent nasty shocks later on...

These are the 2 important questions we asked each other:

(1) What do you admire about your parent's marriage and the way they raised you? This is an easy question, most men I have dated and most of my friends come from reasonably stable homes.

(2) What do you disagree with in your parent's marriage/ your own upbringing? This is a hard question because you have to be quite critical and objective without being disloyal/defensive.

Then (this is the hardest bit of all) we answered these 2 questions for the OTHER person. Meaning that you actually assess your beloved's family and upbringing and value system and TELL the other person. I therefore recommend that you do this when you are on a relaxed and isolated beach!

Most churches have marriage preparation classes, but you don't have to be religious to want to be careful about who you make such a major commitment to. So better to know the worst before you go on to entrench yourselves in each others lives. I think having these kinds of converstations made us more aware of each other's values, and provided us with a basis of common goals to raise our own kids with.

Of course, talking is no substitute for doing, so the rest of our family life together is going to be the real adventure. But it's kinda of nice before you head out on a long journey with someone to have a discussion beforehand of where you eventually want to be - right?

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