I miss my husband when I am in Singapore. Last night was particularly difficult, because when we grieve, we look for support from our loved ones. But what if your loved ones are in separate places?
I want to go home to Turin, yet I feel like I have to stay close to my family at this time. What do you do when the interests of "home" and "family" appear divergent? My mother wants to go back to Korea. I will go with her, because I know she would appreciate the company, and so would my father.
I miss Fabien deeply, yet I dare not say it. Because if I did, it would be generally taken as if I did not want to be here with my family that needs me. Yet, a refusal to acknowledge that I miss my husband and my normal life in Turin, is a refusal to acknowledge that these were sacrifice which I willingly made.
Made even greater because I have to miss him without giving expression to my longing and lonliness. What is left unsaid is an aching, silent cry, building into a scream.
Can you hear it?
I am glad you can.
This is a necessary outlet.