Monday, February 04, 2008

For better or for worse

My brain has gone into over-drive. I find myself waking up in the night with things I want to blog about, or parts of my work that I want to correct (it's drafting time, but rebuttals are harder than primary witness statements because you have to make sure you stay on track and don't go off on a merry tangent that witnesses always do). Anyway I digress (you see- it's contagious!) I was thinking about marriage. Away from the (yawn!) American election, and looking at the still beautiful Carla Bruni, and wondering if the marriage will help or hurt Sarko; I find myself wondering about marriage as an institution.

This might be the year where the number of my married friends exceed the number of unmarried friends. Obviously there is an inherent bias because now that I have Sophie, I naturally gravitate to other similar family units to form new friendships, and as I am married, the majority of my new friends tend to be married as well. However this doesn't explain why I have 6 wedding invitations in my mailbox from university/pre-university friends.

I really enjoyed reading this essay. It appears that Fabien and I seem to have at least a good foundation for a happy marriage (or so it would seem from the Amato study).

I think the sound bite for why we got married because we wanted a public declaration of a private emotion. An open commitment to love and respect together is an old fashioned romantic thing to do. In the light of our international travel and expat packages, it's also practical thing to do. Many countries make it a pain to apply for accompanying visas for your partner if you are not married. And in view of having children, whether adoptive or biological, it makes life administratively much easier. That is not to say that I think marriage is inherently a good or bad thing, like many other aspects of free choice, it really depends on the personal motivations behind it all. You can do the right thing for all the wrong reasons. However when it all comes together nicely, it's a beautiful thing.

Today, when a marriage works, it delivers more benefits to its members — adults and children — than ever before. A good marriage is fairer and more fulfilling for both men and women than couples of the past could ever have imagined. ... .

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